What are you afraid of?
Tell me are you afraid of not succeeding with your career?
Are you afraid of not making money enough? Not getting the house you dream of? The car? The society's acknowledgment of you being successful, a good citizen?
You know what i am afraid of?
To end alone!!
Solitude is my biggest fear...
Do you remember that rubber duck that you once loved, but that you forgot on the beach one day and never saw again?? That is what i am afraid of, of becoming the rubber duck! I don't want to focus on the wrong things, i don't want to focus on money, success and all the rest, i want to to focus on being happy with what i got, with myself as i am and not a society wants me to be, but is not easy!
I want to keep the people i love close to me, and in that i am failing already, i've got them all spread around the world, making the objective of being with everyone impossible. But i am doing my best to keep them close, they are the most important, the antidote to my fear, friends and family are all. In the end we all come to this conclusion. In the end we all come to the hard truth that money, car, house, career... they are all empty concepts that we invented, the are not essential, but love is.
I don't want to wake up one day, old and lonely! I want to have people laughing around me all the time, i want to share the little i have with them, and die with no regrets, probably poor and unknown, but happy!!
Back in time, when i was a teenager, my town was divided in "gangs". Not the bad kind of gangs, you know, not like criminal and so, but more like the group of people that you hanged out with.
There were "The Storm", they were the older ones, then came "The Piranha", the "Pretty Faces" and the younger ones the "Miluvit", Miluvit is a kind of baby food sold in portugal at the time :D
Me by age should be a part of the Pretty Faces, also because i had a rock band with members from the gang, but i really did not like the idea of the "Gang" thing. So i called myself independent and partyed with all of them, i had really good friends in all of the "gangs" so i did not see the point on being enemies.
But in all of this gangs there was one that i was really found of, "The Piranhas".
The Piranhas were a group of 7 maybe 8 guys, no girls admitted, (or so they said, i think that it was because no girl wanted to be a part of it :), they were also the ones who gave the name to the "Pretty Faces", cause they had all the girls ) but back to the Piranhas, they were hardcore kids, and had a lot of fun together. Maybe cause there were no girls in the group, i think somehow they were more friends of each other than the rest of the guys in the other gangs, there were no love drama, cheating or love fights. I remember specially one new year's eve, i came to visit them at their party, i actually was partying with the Pretty Faces that night but just before midnight i went to spend it with the Piranhas that invited me every year over. When i arrived, i was like amazed, i just came from a party filled with girls, with a lot of colorful decoration, a lot of fancy things and dance music, and now i was in a really dark place, the only decoration was some black garbage bags hanging instead of doors, almost no light in the room and they only had 2 cds. One with trash metal, grunge and so on, and the other one with classic music, oh come on, you have to love this guys. It was the best party ever, we ate and drank like vikings, just the way we were, we jumped around like crazy people, there was no girl to impress, no music you had to listen to even if you did not liked it... we were a bunch of friends having a lot of fun!
Later on when we got older, all the gangs kind of mixed into one, you know, boyfriends here, girlfriends there... and that was the best thing that could had happen of course, today we are like a big family, Piranhas that married Pretty Faces, Pretty faces that married Miluvit and so on :D But still i miss the Piranha partys, the friendship, the Pretty faces, everyone.
Thank you guys for the beautiful memories, thank you for the best teenage anyone could ever had.
